- Change "As such, this well known behaviour has been to date largely anecdotal" in "To date, this behavior has been largely anecdotal."
- Add scientific names for predator species (or higher taxon) in text.
- "however, the sources of these designations are somewhat unclear" What does this mean? Guess you mean that the origin of scientific evidence for these statements is unclear. Rewrite that sentence.
- Place reference 6 at the end of the sentence, not in parenthesis.
- Change "published accounts" to "published observations"
- "In the absence of more published accounts, marine predators that feed benthically, and are at least in part piscivores, must be considered the most likely predators of garden eels." Did you check for stomach content analysis of likely predators? Is Aetobatus now a known predator of garden eels? Also, the more likely predators of garden eels would be benthic piscivores, not all partly piscivore species.
- "It is not known if retraction of garden eels into their burrows is purely in response to the presence of predators, or simply a blanket behaviour in response to encounters with larger-bodied marine organisms." Rephrase. Something with predator avoidance behavior.
- On what do you base probable or improbable predators? This has to match with your earlier statements of what you consider a potential predator of this species.